It’s time for some real talk.
It has come to my awareness, for some time now that I have been rather distant, from here (blogging), from my social life and from my work life.
that’s down to my mental health.
A subject nobody seems to want to talk about, but after a conversation with a good friend today, I’ve realised it’s important, to be honest with not only myself but the people I hold dearest.
Though I could sit here all day and give you the long dramatic life story about how poor young Elle was left scared by a long spell of bullying and mental torture. However, you’ve probably heard that tale far too many times before. Instead, I just want to be honest.
I was originally diagnosed with ‘Worrying issues’ as my doctor described when I was around 15/16 years old. Though I didn’t know it at the time my first actual panic attack was when I was 13 following a gas leak at our school. Ever since, I have been passed between a few councillors, told I’ve had everything from bulimia, ednos, depression, anxiety, blah blah blah. Now I am officially living with anxiety, probably shall for the rest of my days, and for the time being on some medication. Which from times will make me be someone don’t particularly like, however, I’ve learnt to except those days.
For this moment in time, that day seems to be going on for a seriously long time. It’s times like these, that I couldn’t think of myself being a lucky person for being able to call some of the greatest beings in existence as friends. Because they are my rock. It sounds very silly but having as low esteem as I sometimes do even 30 minutes with them makes me really appreciate them.
I’m just taking my time to find back the old el, she’s somewhere. Until then, don’t worry I haven’t abandoned my little world online. I just don’t want to put content out there whilst I feel as if I’m not going to be happy with it, as it’s not me…. if that makes any sense at all.
Sorry, on behalf of my head.